Christmas Appeal
This Christmas help us give families the gift of choice.
The choice to spend their final moments where they feel most at home.
No parent ever imagines they will have to say
goodbye to their child, let alone plan their funeral with them.
For Greg and Karen, that unthinkable and unbearably painful moment became reality when their son Freddie was diagnosed with terminal cancer just before his 10th birthday.
“We knew he was dying, he knew he was dying. We talked a lot with Freddie about what he wanted for end-of-life,” said Greg. “In those last months of his life, everything was geared around keeping him at home.”
Freddie’s choice was simple: he wanted to die at home with his parents, little sister Bessie and his cat, Nutmeg. He also wanted to stay at home after he died, never wanting to be left alone. Rainbows made that possible.
Our dedicated and specialised Hospice at Home Team brought calm and comfort while providing hospice at home care, and emotional support.
“We promised Freddie he could stay at home for those final days, it was so important to him,” said Karen. “With Rainbows’ help we made that a reality. We can’t put into words how much that meant to us and Freddie.”
Like other 12-year-olds, Freddie loved going to school and being with his friends. Unlike most other 12-year-olds, he was also planning intricate details of his funeral. Before he died, when faced with the unthinkable, that no child and their family should have to face, Freddie detailed exactly what his choices were. Although a difficult and painful process, this allowed him to have some control of his death and gave comfort to his parents as they could follow his wishes completely.
Freddie always loved cooking, he was passionate about food. He chose wood fired pizzas and trifle at his funeral and made spoons for guests with the words ‘when you stir this dish think of me’. He created a recipe book for Bessie to carry on his love for food.
“We knew what he wanted as he wrote it all down,” said Karen. “He wasn’t scared but he became frustrated, especially when his hands didn’t work as well when cooking.”
After two years of incredible bravery and a love for life, on an autumn night last November, Freddie died. Within hours, Rainbows had everything set up to enable his wishes to be honoured.
Our nurses’ expert use of a specialised ‘cool blanket’ made it possible for Freddie to stay at home after his death, giving his parents precious time to say goodbye to their son.
“The nurses were so gentle and respectful of Freddie, always chatting to him and making sure he was comfy,” said Greg. “They also took the lead with Bessie, using fingerprints, hand casts, foot and hand rubbings and locks of hair to create priceless memories that are invaluable to our family.
“Without Rainbows, we simply wouldn’t have been able to have Freddie at home. The nurses did so much for us, including just being there. You can never underestimate how important that was for us.
“It would have been very traumatic to have had Freddie suddenly leave the house. Having him there up to his funeral allowed us to transition. We were with him all that time and for that, we will be forever grateful to Rainbows and everyone who makes Rainbows possible.”
This Christmas, many families across the East Midlands will face the inconceivable. They too will make promises: to keep their child comfortable, surround them with love, and keep them safe at home, in hospital or at our hospice, until the very end.
But right now, not every family in the East Midlands has that choice. With only 13% statutory funding, Rainbows must raise £8.5 million every year to be there for babies, children and young people like Freddie.
Your donation could help fund our Hospice at Home nurses and medical equipment that make it possible for children to choose to remain at home – safe and cared for until the end of their lives and in the days that follow.
Please give today and help to make sure that families can make these precious choices – and keep their promises to their children. Your kindness can make Rainbows possible.
Thank you – your support means so much to us.
“Rainbows enabled us to carry out Freddie’s wishes and keep our promise,” said Greg. “This helped us enormously during an unthinkable process. Freddie was gentle, kind and a loyal friend. We hope people might take a little piece of Freddie’s enthusiasm and joy for living into their own lives.”